Feature

Lola Ems and Lola Monat:

Shaping and reshaping the family
with their stories

By Pepin

Their hands may have been injured several times and their backs have drooped for several degrees, but their love for their children and grandchildren is never ceasing. Until now, they are giving more of their strength and their wisdom has always been our day-to-day reminders.

Lola Monat and Lola Ems are my two beloved grandmothers from the maternal side of my family. At age 74 and 71 respectively, they would rather prefer to spend more of their time at rice paddies or tending the farm animals than sit indolently at one corner. They would wake up as early as four in the morning, start the day in prayer and boil water for breakfast at five. They would then pick up the walis tingting and gather the dried leaves that fell overnight. At six in the morning, the backyard would already be completely clean and the plants have already been watered.

Their struggles in life are unrivalled and I can label them as inimitable experiences. These all began when they were given the responsibility to raise my mom and her siblings after their mother died from a certain disease. I did not get a chance to see my real grandmother, but Lola Monat and Lola Ems have done well to let me experience her “would-be” kind of care and love.

Life is as hard as I can imagine every time they share the tales of their past. I couldn’t utter any “buts and what if’s” whenever they tell me how difficult it is to provide food for the family and hike for miles to look for an income. They endured a lot of physical scourges and verbal curses from people whom they worked with for several years. They sacrificed decisions of their own satisfaction to accommodate the daily needs of the entire family. All of these are because of their unselfish and selfless love for my mother, her two brothers, and her younger sister.

I, my sisters and my cousins are added characters to their life story. We were not spared from their autocratic system at home. They would penalize us for our wrongdoings and restrain us from doing the things that we want. They would always tell us the same pieces of advice over and over again even if we are too exhausted of listening. But we never despised any of these, because everything they did moulded us of who we are today and what we will become in the future. We believe that we won’t be better persons without them

If there is one gift that I am very much thankful about, it’s my grandparents. I appreciate life more because they taught me how to live each day in simplicity, and that there is no need to complicate. They influenced me to appreciate every gift that I receive no matter how small and simple it is. They taught me how to find contentment and joy in serving the family and not over material wealth. And most of all, they helped me to value God and to build a strong faith in him. I will never exchange any of the wisdom that they have imparted to me ever since I was a kid.

Lola Ems and Lola Monat continue to age with their aspiration to live an undemanding life, and the heavens have never failed them, because for such a simple desire, God is giving them more than what they have asked of him – good health, a loving family, and a life well lived.